Beanz Meanz...... Too Much in the Cupboard!

The weekly shop. One of the banes of my life, and those of many other working mums.

It's easier now, since the advent of the internet. I'm a passionate advocate of online shopping and have gaily flung my virtual hard-earned cash into Tesco's secure portal on a regular basis for some years now.

So proficient am I, that the weekly shop only takes me around 20 minutes. Half an hour, max - and that's still a far cry from the days when I had to drag my little darlings along behind a trolley, wailing. I mean they were wailing, obviously, not me - although sometimes it was a close-run thing.

When they were tiny, you could guarantee that - no matter how established their routine - halfway round they would either fill their nappies with the most disgusting-smelling eruption ever to grace a Pampers or wake up and start howling like banshees. What are your options? Well, you can either pretend it isn't happening and hope all the other shoppers - and store staff - have the good grace to humour you, or you can abandon your trolley and run for it. I favoured the latter, until I realised this meant we never had any milk and there was nothing for tea.

When they got bigger they'd refuse to go in the trolleys and go stiff as a plank of wood, making it impossible to slot them into the seats without a quick karate chop in the ribs to bend them double. Effective, but not prescribed parenting.Instead, they'd dash around the store, surreptiously swiping packets of Jammie Dodgers out of pensioners' baskets and hiding among the clothing rails until I was convinced they'd been kidnapped.

Then, when they got too big for them, they'd insist on being forcibly stuffed into the trolleys and moan all the way round that I hadn't bought any ice-cream. Nightmare.

Now I just sit at my desk and, with a few clicks of the mouse, I can be confident that my shopping will be delivered to my door at a time of my choosing. No stress, no fuss. It even has its funny moments - like the time I'd ordered four Kiwi fruits, but they'd run out so decided to substitute with four tins of black Kiwi shoe polish. I can see the logic, but it did nothing for my vitamin C levels.

So why do I still find it so hard to fit it in? I do, though. I end up leaving it till the last moment and rushing through my 'Favourites' list, ordering the same things I always order with just a quick glance down the 'Special Offers' - the 'BOGOF' and '2 for 1s' are standard reading.

The problem with this is that I haven't checked my cupboards. So there I am, unpacking my four-pack of baked beans, when I realised that I swore not to order any this week. Or the week before. Because there's 16 tins of the damn things already in there.

Meanwhile, we've run out of toothpaste and The Boy is distraught because I've got him the same anti-perspirant as Media Dad, and how embarrassing is it to smell like your father?

As they grow up, though, I do have an answer. They could always do the shopping for me. I'll let you know how that one works out.......